Yesterday, I shared a story on my Instagram about a woman saying some pretty terrible things about me to her daughter while we stood in a checkout line. I won’t bother to repeat them, mainly because they were incredibly triggering. While I am a strong, self-assured QUEEN, sometimes things can still dig a little deeper than I want.
Even on my best day, nicely minding my own business, words and actions can make me question all of the hard work I have done in the past few years. Unlearning my own internal fatphobia, dismissing misogynistic views, and finding peace and acceptance within my body. It is not easy, and I found myself wobbling all afternoon.
It can be hard to not let the intruding thoughts overpower you or to ruin more than just your afternoon. But there are a few things that I do when I go through negative feelings that help me pick myself up and start fresh.
TAKE A SHOWER
Quite literally wash the negtaivty down the drain. Maybe you need a cold shower, maybe you want it hot. But stand under the water and imagine all of the bad thoughts in your head rinsing off your body. Pull out all of the stops. Use your favorite products. Open the fancy hair mask you have been saving. Now is the time.
BE PRODUCTIVE
This will look very different for everyone. I honestly couldn’t tell you the last time that I made a fully homemade dinner. It had been so long. But I shoved everything I needed to do to the side and spent an hour in my kitchen cooking. It felt good to be in control, to see something accomplished. You might want to tackle the closet clear out you have been avoiding or organize your receipts. Just do something that you have been avoiding.
TREAT YOURSELF
This might be obvious, but do something nice for yourself. A little shopping, a special coffee, or a manicure. Let yourself feel cared for or a little extra for a moment.
SIT WITH IT
This is probably the hardest thing, but honestly so important. Don’t try to brush your feelings under the rug. It is ok to feel poorly from time to time. Ask yourself if anything in your life would change if your body was a different size or if your skin was clear. The answer is that nothing would change, because it doesn’t matter. But sometimes we need to feel it before we can move forward.
DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE
This is the time to read that smutty book you have had on your kindle or binge your favorite reality show. Do something that is comforting to you. Indulge in your “guilty pleasure” – that you shouldn’t feel guilty about to begin with.
TALK ABOUT IT
Often times these negative feelings can be very shameful. We don’t want others to know that we aren’t fully completely absolutely in love with ourselves every second of the day. Garbage. Allow a friend to have a peek into your emotions. That is what they are there for!
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER
Once you have done the above, now is the time to pick yourself up. Maybe you only needed a few hours, but sometimes you need a full day of wallowing. But we aren’t going to let it go on beyond that. One day and then we push forward. Get dressed in your favorite outfit that makes you feel like a confident queen. Do your hair, spray a little perfume. Whatever it is that makes YOU feel good.
Chance are, you might still not be feeling 100%. And that’s ok. But sometimes we have to put things aside for them to be forgotten. We have to dust ourselves off. If we don’t believe in our worth and value, it will be hard for others to see it, too.
You matter. Always. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
🔥🔥🔥🔥
Great article!!
Queen! Yes! 💗
Thank you!!!